A not so simple introduction

This is the beginning of an unbeknowest number of posts. This may be the first and last, who knows. I'll start it off simple - I'm Wil (age 18), an atheist. I, however, dislike being classified within that group because that is what it has become - a group. Militant atheism has put out a bad name for individual atheists like myself. This is what atheism is meant to be like: singularity. When atheists simply group together for the means of a certain belief system like the destruction of religion, they in a way become what they seek to destroy: a religion ("a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects") of atheism. Nobody should be adopting others' beliefs or lack thereof, but should follow what they feel is right without oppressing others into their personal thought process.

That aside, I, despite the growing pressure of such cliques and even that of the religious communities I defend against militants wishing me to join them, have managed to reach a state of comfortability within my life where I feel I am on the track of reaching inner peace, or a peace of mind. After all, the thing I value most is my brain, my thoughts, my mind. Thusly (though among other reasons) I find it wrong to indulge in mind-altering/negating substances such as alcohol, maijuana, and other harmful drugs. I have ups, I have downs - just like any other normal human being. We're nothing special in this world, just a little smarter than most other creatures.

I'm in no way perfect - many past experiences have altered my ways of thinking, my priorities, my personal values, etc. I'm passive agressive, I hold everything in, and I don't really have much of a release. Most people when they hear of it tend to move away a bit, tell me I should get some therapy, and kind of look at me as though they're trying not to notice a booger hanging from my nose. At this point I'm able to reveal I'm a pacifist. I don't hurt anything or anyone intentionally - and I do not get angry often. Even in the instance I do, it is purely internal and in total control. However, I hypothesise there is a brink point for me and others with conditions not unlike my own. A state in which the control I've worked on is lost and a primal aggressive nature takes place. That said, it would take an extreme level of annoyance and emotion to topple the dam I've built up. This dam, I've built it up through my own steps to inner peace. I used to get uneasy about a lot of things, I used to value what people thought of me, I used to be intolerant and hateful. But that all began to change as age came by and my mind began to seek knowledge and control of itself.

It is tough to imagine a state like this where nothing can affect you. I haven't reached it yet, but I am getting ever closer. I have found many methods to work past the inital guilt, the initial awkwardness, the initial doubts of taking on such a mental state:

- Hiding nothing - Hiding things only creates tension in everything. Tell your friends everything about you, don't skimp out on the details - just be entirely open and speak your mind.
- Talking about everything - Talking is a beacon. Talk to everyone you'd like to be friends with - hell, even the people you dislike (it's a great chance to get things out of the way). Tell these people the secrets you've hidden, what your past was like. Can't trust them? Fuck trust - see the first method. Really, once it's out there, it's out there and you'll have to deal with it. It's not as bad as you think...
- Stop caring - Who cares what you look like? Go ahead, wear running shoes to the prom - I won't judge you (I went as a jedi to mine). If anyone does, grant them a smile, maybe a big hug and be on your way. This point is essential in the success of the others. It's tough and wholly weird to get through at first because it's a new and uncomfortable feeling. Over time though, you'll be more accustomed and comfortable with people knowing your secrets and you'll be free to talk about anything with them.
- Realise your faults - Nobody is perfect. Not me, not you, Jesus wasn't, neither was Socrates, nor Plato, nor Mary, nor Ghandi, nor Buddha, nor Mother Teresa. Everyone has their faults, just realise your own and try to better yourself in the way you see fit. Lack tolerance? Try being more tolerant around someone who annoys the living daylights out of you enough to make you want to smack them. Then go through the process for what brings you to want to smack them.
- Let your mind wander - I find the stars to be a very good source of letting my mind wander without influence. Sometimes just watching the NASA TV gadget for Google Sidebar or some Stargate SG1 gets my mind working, wandering, thinking of the possibilities of the infinite.


I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here, but my own personal mindstyle is free and closing in on what I consider a peace of mind. Hopefully this sums up my thought process well enough, but if there are any questions know that I will not hold anything back.